Take Me Back To That Time.

I want to go back to that time when all I ever worried about was the pouring rain.

When I was younger, I always said that I wanted to be older. Now that I am older, I want to be younger.

I realized a lot of things while I was growing up. 

It's funny that when I think back to where I was a couple years back, I'd always remember those picture perfect memories of a carefree, laughing child version of me. I guess it was when everything was at the right place. I'll always remember the time when the only books  I read were 

Charlie in the Chocolate Factory & Geronimo Stilton. That time of innocence when I always knew what to do with my life. That time when I was always sure of things. That time when trusting people wasn't such a hard thing to do. That time when I still believed in fairy tales, prince charmings, & damsels in distress. 

Now that I'm a bit older, I just don't understand why things are like that. I don't know how I have learned to fake my smiles and to mask my feelings. I don't know how I turned out to be someone who find it hard to trust people. I have always thought that people never walk away. I have always known that they were meant to stay. 

Most of the times, I thought of running away. It was just to take all the bad stuff out . I want to run away from the things that hurt me. I want to run far far away so that I won't feel it. But then, He along with various people made me want to stay. He always reminded me that I am loved and even if I fail, He'll always do. He made me feel that all my prayers are heard. That this world only holds challenges so that I would be stronger.

Now, with God I know I can do all things. While reading His Word, He answered a lot of questions. I somehow understand while all child grow up except for Peter Pan, that is. :))

The Truth Is.

I only stopped talking to you
So that I won't hope anymore
This is me accepting what is to come
Accepting that its just not meant to be

You're my friend, she is too
I don't want to be the one to
Disrupt you, that's all
Besides all I know is that you're both happy now

It may hurt
Although I don't know when
It will stop and I'll
Be amazed by someone new

The truth is I never wanted to let go of you
I never wanted to erase those moments with you
But then I never got that assurance from you
I never knew what wass true

You and me, like parallel lines
Lines that never meet
You showed signs but
You never did see me

I don't know how it came to this
I guess I was just hoping you'll
Say all those words that I long to hear
All those feelings seem to have disappeared

I never knew how you felt
With just one glance I stole
I feel a smile spreading
Even if for you I knew that it  just won't do

This never happened to me before
I guess you never really cared
For me
But you'll always be right here

I never know just what to say
Rainy days bring back those Thursdays
I shared with you and will
Forever be treasured

A lot of questions
On my mind
Were never really answered
But, honestly, its because I want to hear it from you

Did I ever cross your mind?
Or was that just me
Countless times, I thought of you
I always wished that you think of me too

I waited for you to say something
To show me that I was wrong to think that
It was her who you thought of
It was her who you feel for

But you never did say anything to me
I took it in a way that would be slow
I guess I was blinded
I knew then I needed space

Space for me so I could think
Distance maybe is all I need
I'm still thinking of you
But I'll always be guessing

You'll always be in the back of my mind
You'll always be the boy who saw me cry
I waited and I guess I still am waiting
For you to take me as me

I never would have walked away
But you never did ask me to stay
You never did say anything
You only stood there

Someday I hope I'll understand
How come you kept your mouth shut
You never made a move
And I never really knew

Do you feel for me too?
Or is there someone else for you
I am waiting for an assurance
But I guess that may never come

I needed that
I needed assurance
I needed to know
I needed the truth

Lastly, the truth is
I'm still here
I'm still waiting
Although there's nothing left for me to wait for

I want you to know that
I treasure you and all those moments
We had on Thursdays
I'll never forget

To hold on or to let go
I guess the second one suits me better
After all, all I've been through is pouring rain
I just thought you'll never give me pain