I Want To See You Be Brave.

In a rain forest, right across the outskirts of town, a white bunny lived in a tree house. The white bunny has delicate fur. Its eyes are the brightest of its kind. The bunny has a passion for arts and loves the color pink. In the tree house where she lived with her family for years now, she didn't feel the warmth. Instead, she felt the absence of heat, coldness caving in.

I was but a passerby who longed to have helped the white bunny. In ways, I have, I think. I talked to her, asked her about her life. But these, I know, wouldn't suffice. I hope she knows how much I want to help her. Upon being friends with her, I realized how much life was making it hard for her. Happiness, I wish I could give her. Comfort, I wish I could have gave her more.

There was once an afternoon when we had a talk. Not just a simple easy conversation, but a real one. I opened up to her so that we'd both understand what we both are going through as of the moment. I noticed she let her walls down. That time, I felt so grateful. I realized I was kind of like her. We both felt vastness in life. We both want to just be happy, no worries, no regrets.

Months passed, and I don't know what happened to the white bunny. I haven't had the time and effort to talk to her. But this, I promise myself, the next time I see her, I'll make sure she's okay. I will make certain to her that I'll always be a friend that she can count on always. That I won't judge her like the other people did.

I want to see you be brave, white bunny. I want to see you happy, regardless of the uncertainty that you feel. I want to see you stand up for yourself. I want to see you be strong enough to face life head up. Be brave, white bunny. Be brave and I bet it'll do you good.

Someday.

The most common lie in the world is when you say, "I'm fine."

Well, its something that I've been saying for the past few years. I guess, growing up also means that you have to take things lightly. Feeling deeply hurts. Wherein feeling lightly and expecting nothing is much better.

I don't remember when the "I'm fine." sensation started. I only know that I say it when I am already tired of explaining the same thing over and over. Sometimes, upon hearing that, people would walk away. Sometimes, they just stay and keep you company. I don't know which one is better. Because there have been times when I just wanted to be alone and keep things to myself. But then, there were also times when I felt to vulnerable that I needed company. I needed someone who could just stay there by my side and hear me out.

Lucky me, I know that He's there. Its nice to know that at the end of the day, no matter what happens, it is all planned. The only trouble I'm facing is that I don't really understand almost everything that happens. I lay in bed at night praying for answers. Answers that would suffice the questions I have in my head.

Someday, I wish that I could understand why things happen. Both the good and the bad.

Someday, I wish that I will find what I'm looking for.

Someday, I hope that I will have someone who could just stay by my side and never leave.

Someday, I hope that I will be strong enough to face my problems.

Someday, I hope that I will learn to put some of my walls down, enough to let the right people in.

Someday, I'll look back at all this and tell myself that , "I know now."

You Don't Know Me. You Don't Even Care. (The Boy Who Never Knew)

That right there is a line from one of my favorite songs. That song is entitled Boston by Augustana.
From the magnificent start of the intro up to the very last end, this song wraps up my thoughts about someone. The boy who never noticed.

I guess its because its summer again and that signaled that it has been a year. A year that passed me by, a year that served as a test, if it would work, sadly, nothing happened. To which I say, well at least it'll be over soon. Now that I am ready to accept the ugly truth. The truth that I knew in the back of my mind, it was right there, everyday and in every way. The truth that I didn't want to accept. The truth that kept me from you. The truth that you'll always be the boy who never knew. 

No hard feelings could ever fill up my heart. That, I'm sure of. Besides, the next time I see you, I hope that I could muster up my courage and face you with my head held high. And with that, I'll be able to prove to myself that I indeed learned from the past. No tears, no regrets, just the act of moving forward and acceptance. 

The boy who never noticed. You probably didn't know just how lucky you were. As the Taylor Swift song goes, 'All the other girls, well they're beautiful, but would they write a song for you?'. I laugh at that thought. But its true. I wrote one for you. Unfortunately, its left undone. I don't know how to end it. How could you possibly say goodbye to someone who you could never say hello to? How could you finish a song that's all made up of a series of never ending coincidences that made it harder to forget? How could you forget someone who gave you so much to remember?

The thing is that ours is a perfect ending to reality. Reality in life that could not be written on a story book. Reality that could only be depicted by  words that I can't contain. The words I couldn't say. The words that I put up together to convey this message to you.

You don't know me. You don't even care. You don't know me. You don't wear my chains. 
That's exactly how you made me feel. The feeling of never being enough. The feeling that I didn't know existed. The feeling that you were all wrong for me. That's for you. The boy who never knew.

Thoughts.

Normally, I would start a blog post by saying 'hey' or 'hi', much like what I would say to start a conversation. The truth is, I write like I talk. Mostly. Sometimes, there are just words you couldn't contain -words that no matter how hard you try, you just can't say. During those sometimes, I find myself writing. It helps me release what I feel -whether good or bad-.
Thoughts? I have. LOTS. Much more than I could write about. There are endless thoughts that I think about. Sometimes it just becomes too much that my head aches. Too much that it sums up to everything in my life. From all those good times, bad times, movie-scene moments and a lot more. I guess its just a part of being a human.
Well, I'll depart from all these and just tell you my thoughts while blogging this.

Coffee.
Don't you just love the smell of brewed coffee? :D Honestly, I like coffee more than milk. I just like it because of the taste, the way it warms up my heart, the vibe that it brings that relaxes me. I drink a cup of coffee while I study. :))

Love.
Someone asked me what my favorite word is. But at that time I didn't have any. Now, I have one. This four letter word is my favorite. It is the only word that cannot be defined exactly. :P

Pretty Little Liars.
My favorite tv show. :) I have always wondered who 'A' is.

With Love That Can't Cease To Grow.

That line caught my heart. That's just it. It took one glance, then I fell for it. Oh boy, I did.

I guess even if I keep looking back at that poem that you wrote, I will never figure out just who you wrote it for. And you don't know how much I want to know who it is. Its a bit redundant. But, I really wonder the inspiration behind it. You wrote it with so much passion, so much love.

I liked the last four stanzas best. It seemed to me like they depicted just how people feel. All the emotions colliding in a very insane manner. With every thought, with every emotion, I felt you. Its strange. I don't know you at all. And yet somehow, even with that thought in mind, I felt for once  I had the right to pinpoint who you are -really. I realized how I looked at you a thousand times but never really saw you. I may have seen the 'you' outside and somehow inside too. But I guess you're much like a satire. You hide behind the truth. You hide by faking laughs and forcing smiles. And I guess, despite all that success, you feel that sadness. By 'that sadness' I mean that you may have felt like your life was planned ahead of you. It was like you had no control of your life. Like every move you make, every word you say, you have to be very careful.

But don't worry, you. I hope that you'll find your happiness. Well, there's this wishful thinking that I will be a part of it, but time will tell. At least that's what I know. Also, I wish that the person who inspired you to write that poem will know just how lucky she is that you did what you did. I would actually like to praise you for being a hopeful romantic. :) I wish I had that strength in me -the strength that you have.

With love that can't cease to grow. Just like ours. Just like ours.