Something I've Held Onto For A While.

Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." This is one of my favorite verses. Thus, this is the verse that I hold onto for a while.

I have a lot of things that I want to do. I want to chase after my dreams. Although, as of now, I am encountering problems (mostly in Math) and I feel like my chances are fading. I've tried so hard but it just won't work. I've done so much work. I've spent hours studying it. The results, however are not so good at all. This discourages me. I know that its my fault for being overly careless but still how could this be? I thought to myself, "How could this be in God's plan?" and "Why am I keep on failing?". I just don't understand. Because of my low grade in Math, my average is pulled down. Its like everything I've worked hard for didn't even matter. It just hurts.

I believe that He answered it by the said verse. Whenever I think of negative stuff, it just goes off in my mind. It steadies my fragile human heart. The heart scares easily. In the back of my mind, I know that worrying won't have good effects on me. It will take action for something to change.

Folks, if you are going through something hard right now, hold onto this verse or any verse that you want.
Hold onto God who has plans for you. Hold onto Him during the happy times and the sad ones. Tell Him your thoughts. Thank Him for this wonderful life He has given you. Hold onto Him.

I hope that I won't give up. There are a lot of instances where I felt like giving up, but something in me just wants to keep on going. I don't know but despite all the bad stuff, I feel happy. I feel lighter.

Whatever it is that will happen, I hope that I'll be able to accept it. Whether it be good or bad, I just have to remind myself that God has a plan. Whatever it is, I know that at the end of the day,  God's plan will suit me perfectly.

Endless Thoughts.

Apart from my over thinking, I guess everything has changed a lot. These days, I felt lighter and free. I don't know if it's because of me letting go of the things that blinded me before. I have a problem of putting colors to things that make them special. But then, something opened my eyes to a whole new world. A whole new world where I was loved and I was free of the burden that I use to carry. 

I used to envy people who have things that I don't have. It was never about the material things, that was for sure. I envy them. I envy how they can defend themselves with words and physically. Instead, I was the one who had endless words on my mind. Mostly, I hid them. Although they don't appear as that, I do.

Whenever I was silent or anything, people would think that I am sad or disappointed. Truth is, I'm not. At some instances, maybe I was, but mostly its because I am currently thinking about something. I think of all the things that hurt me, makes me happy, or just anything under the sun.

It's so funny how it seemed only yesterday that I thought of that. I thought of running along the beach with you. I thought of us studying together. I thought of us enjoying the long ride ahead, singing to an old mix tape that you made for me. I thought of us staying up all night just talking over the phone. I thought of us going back to the orphanage to visit the kids. 

It's so funny how now all I think about is almost everything except you. You. The last thing on my mind. It's funny when I used to think of all those movie-like moments that we shared. 

Now I know that it's true what they said. Feelings do change like the weather. 

The world shifted. The wind lifted. 

And Its Sad When You Know It's Your Heart You Can't Trust.

Today, this particular line of that song got stuck in my head. I can't get rid of it. I knew then that I would just have to blog about it.

Heart. It pumps out the blood so that the blood can distribute nutrients needed by our body. That's the meaning scientifically, as I remembered. What is it really?

For someone like me, its something that's very ironic, especially with the brain. The brain tells you this and that, the heart neglects it. Most of the time, that is. Its so hard to do something that's against either of it.

As the title says, its sad when you know its your heart you can't trust. When you feel something that you just don't understand, you just need an assurance so that you can trust it. Sometimes, even when you don't trust it to do so, it just does. That feeling of innocence and yet in the back of your mind you yourself was aware of the truth.

Its all in front of me, I see it. But, how come I can't stop hoping? How come I can't just stop hoping that you were feeling that for me too?  

Well, enough of me being pathetic over stuff.